This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
This is the high leading the old right now
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
