If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Drake has all the answers
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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