Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
His nipple licking is glorious
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