omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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