sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
