I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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