I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
