can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize