she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
