just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
