looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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