Just fell off a train. Bad.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
