what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
