dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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