I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
