I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
