Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
