there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
