I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
