$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
