I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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