i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
