You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he puts the penis in happiness.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
