I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
