i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
