I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
