ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
