Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
