My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
