i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
