That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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