when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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