Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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