if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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