Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
