Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think i have two assholes
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
