i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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