i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
