Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
