If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
did i walk over a car last night?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm both gender and math confused
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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