I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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