I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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