No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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