The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
