Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
