At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
