I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
