I accidentally burped into my bong.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
