I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
