hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
