He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
